There are many beautiful bonuses to being vegan and attending the gym 5 days a week and one of them is eating what the hell I like. So it was time today after feeling a ted miserable still from yesterday to bake up a Veganuary brownie. So strap yourselves in and lets bake a salted cashew and date chocolate delight. Mmmmm…. vegan.


3tbs tapioca flour
3tbs potato starch
200ml water
400g dark chocolate
200g vegan spread
150g coconut oil
400g caster sugar
1tbs vanilla extract
1tsp salt
250g plain flour
100g walnuts
100g roasted salted cashews
200g dates


Mix the tapioca flour and potato starch with the water and then microwave or bring to a boil on a hob to thicken it. And suddenly you have egg white replacement goo. Woohoo. It will need a good whisk but it’s essential to the baking later that its thick like wallpaper paste. I have been repeat making these and I will add a small change. Use a soup blender stick to break the glue strands of these fake egg whites. Its creates a less jellied effect on the eventual bake.

In a large pan melt the chocolate, coconut oil, vegan spread, vanilla extract and salt.

Whisk the fake egg whites and then add the sugar to the mix. It’s like a crazy glue.

Chop the nuts and dates. If your dates are very sticky dust them with flour to separate them after you chop them up.

Whisk the melted chocolate mix into the sugar glue.

Then stir in the flour. Ok I used the hand whisk but I love the danger of flying flour and chocolate gloops flinging themselves at my clothing. Wear an apron won’t you! I do sometimes but only for sexual kicks.

So wrong it’s a recipe not Grindr!!

Top Tip – always shot from the hip! What?

Actual top tip – to not waste any chocolate from the saucepan drop a handful of chop nuts in the pan and stir them round to pick up the remaining melt.

Stir in the nuts and dates and then pour the fudgy gooey brownie batter into a silicon paper lined baking tray about 30cm x 20cm.

Bake in a fan oven at 160C/350F/gas-mark 4 for 45 minutes. The mixture will still be a little jellied when you take it out but it will keep cooking as it cools. Coconut oil doesn’t solidify until it’s properly cool so wait you greedy vegans. Plus these brownies are gooey when cooled as a good brownie should be.

Lick the bowl and spoons and saucepan and everything that has the chocolate mixture on it.

Cut into squares and eat them all yourself. Do not share these. They are just for the chef!

Chat me up people

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.